Another year has nearly been and gone. I completed my third year exams a couple of weeks ago and I'm now sat nervously awaiting results. Unlike last year where I struggled with motivation, this year my lack of 'blogging' can only be attributed to the fact that I've been fully immersed in this all consuming subject.
The third year provides the first real taste of life on the wards. There are two main hospital blocks, covering cardiovascular medicine and gastroenterology (the digestive system and liver). These each last four weeks and students are assigned to a ward, where they are essentially given free reign to speak to patients and practice examination skills. Initially I was totally out of my depth. I think all third years spend the first couple of weeks being a spare part. You quickly learn that the hospital functions to serve patients, as it should. No one has the time to take your hand and show you the ropes. But I slowly began to assert myself and many of the junior doctors who have just graduated and remember their first days on the wards are incredibly helpful when they have time to be, as are the more senior students. One bit of advice I would give is make friends with the nurses. They are the people who will find you jobs, especially performing essential skills like blood taking or cannula insertion and they know their patients better than anyone else, so are fountains of knowledge. Besides these blocks, there are also placements in psychiatry, elderly care, paediatrics and surgery. I really didn't expect to be exposed to as much as I have been, but I'll give you the smallest snippet of what I've experienced: I've seen people in their first days of life, people in their last days of life and I befriended a lady going through chemotherapy, which provided my first taste of the bitter sadness of losing a patient that you'd began to call a friend. I've been to two or three crash calls and seen people literally teetering on the edge. Obviously, it isn't all like an episode of Casualty, but I've found joy, even performing what are now mundane tasks like taking basic histories. The thing with medicine is that it has so many avenues. Some people get off on scrubbing up and being involved in complex surgery for the first time, but I've greatly enjoyed the company of people more than anything. Doctors are quirky and patients are even quirkier. Some doctors live to biologically 'fix' people and there certainly is a demand for that type of physician, but I did medicine because I wanted to be surrounded by human beings and truly understand what it is that makes them tick. I didn't just want to take joy in the fact that I could (hopefully) keep my patients alive, I wanted to know what is is they were living for. I used to worry that maybe I should have done a career in the arts, as there is more preoccupation with these notions there, but thankfully I have realised there is a place for doctors like the one I hope to become. Some specialities like, psychiatry for instance, do require a fully holistic outlook, so I'm finally getting some sense as to where I may eventually be headed. This year has also been great because I've lived with a wonderful bunch of housemates and I feel much more connected to my family than I have done. My sister has been contemplating her own future and is beginning to lay the ground work for a career change. She has been a great support to me this year and has really tried to get me to see that what I'm doing is something to be cherished. Many of my past posts are forward looking, it's hard to be a skint student and not wish your life away a bit. However, I'm doing something everyday that challenges me and inspires me and I'm slowly learning to accept that these days are going to be just as special to me, if not more, than anything that will come after. We have both had the realisation that money isn't everything and I shouldn't be counting down the days until I earn a steady wage. One final thing that I got to unexpectedly do this year is write a play. We all get to chose a module after we finish our exams and as I mentioned above, I've always had a love of literature and the arts that I haven't been able nurture as a medical student. With that said, when I saw there was a medical humanities placement on offer I jumped at the opportunity. People involved in medical humanities believe, like I do, that the arts can provide doctors with an education that science alone can't. Notions of ethics and empathy are much better explained by the arts and it has been great to have had the time to read again and be encouraged to go to the theatre etc. I do a lot of tutoring these days and one thing my students often ask me is how they can strengthen their medical applications. There can be a tendency to abandon the humanities and fully focus on science, both when applying to medical school and once you're in. However, it is my very humble opinion that being interested in what makes people emotionally and spiritually healthy is just as important as having a full knowledge of the science of disease. So my advice is always keep doing things that make you rounded and turn any experience with people into a selling point. A book that I've just finished reading is 'When Breath Becomes Air' by Paul Kalanithi. I would recommend it to everyone, not just people in the medical world, as it is a beautifully heartbreaking book. Paul writes in the book that only the physician can understand the 'physiological-spiritual' man and I'm glad that I get to spend everyday in the pursuit of that understanding. Another quote from the book which sums up my current internal battle is: "I do not believe in the wisdom of children, nor in the wisdom of the old. There is a moment, a cusp, when the sum of gathered experience is worn down by the details of living. We are never so wise as when we live in this moment." What I take from this is that a life lived in the pursuit of the next challenge is a life wasted. The most insightful people live for today and find joy in what they're doing right now. I hope to write again, maybe soon, maybe in another year, but I hope that in my next post I've found even more satisfaction in what I'm currently doing. I'll still be skint and living out of a suitcase somewhere between Stoke, Shrewsbury and my parental home near Northampton, but the reason I started this blog was to serve as a memory that these days really are THE days.
2 Comments
nathan
5/23/2019 02:29:57 am
Thumb up bro :) I thought there was overlap with Adam Kay's book, describing the arduous journey through hospital speciality training. But, they are both books, written from perspectives of transformation.
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AuthorMy name is Stephan. I'm a 23 year old medical student. I like to travel, play the odd game of rugby and I'm very vocal on formula 1 fan forums (yes I am a bit of a sports nerd). Archives
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